Friday, 31 May 2013

My brain feels like a slug. Or two.

Today is one of those days where everything feels like an effort.

Your brain feels like a slug and your head is just there and it's really heavy and you don't move it much in case it falls to the side and just keeps falling.
Your eyes are heavy but you don't feel tired. You can't pull a smile even at the hint of something funny. Your expression is the loosest but tightest that its ever been.

Your teeth just sit on one another and if you concentrate your mind on them they actually hurt.

Your arms feel like they're detached from the body entirely. They just hang by your sides and don't do anything. They don't fidget or throw things. They just sit there.

Your legs are just there. You can feel a faint thumping in your foot as if you can feel the blood pushing itself back up the body and towards the heart. Your feet are cold but they're covered in socks and shoes and the room is warm.

The voice inside your head is a deep one.
It tells everyone and everything to go fuck itself. 

If you go to sleep in this state, you'll feel even more tired when you wake up.

I don't like this feeling.

Wishing the wall wasn't green

A friend of mine wrote this. Check out her blog at:

Year upon year, in desks we sit

Quiet halls filled with rows of quiet students

Shoe watching teachers

Tear stained papers

And everyone wishing, the wall wasn't green

Times written on the board, getting slashed one by one

The clock on the wall, tick-tock, tic-tock

Pens scribbling, fruiously

Erasers rubbing, vigorously

Staring at the wall, wishing that it wasn't green

The last ten minutes, then five, the one

The sprint to the finish or a stroll to the line

When the teacher calls out, "Stop!" and "Pens down!"

You know you should follow, or shit will go down

And all the while wishing, that damn wall wasn't green